Domestic abuse – it’s in your face
Abuse and violence is an in-your-face signal to get out of the relationship the very first time it happens. It is a form of murder of the spirit and precedes murder of the body. You will not find those words in any definition of love through any of the ages, only from the lips of the egotistical masochist.
You can pervert your perception of the word all you like, but love will never cross that line. If you find yourself accepting abusive behaviour through fear or conditioning, remember that more people die in a marriage than a divorce. At the same time you could cause your own child’s death down the road just by showing them how to accept it. You will find that sorry doesn’t mean to the abuser what it should and you will be more than sorry when your reflex action takes control where your brains should have. You will also be saving the abuser from the consequence of a murder trial. Think your way out.
A Marriage License does not contain the word ‘kill’
“Til death do us part” should be taken as death of the marriage,
not of a person.
Conforming, controlling, and otherwise manipulating someone into what you want or planning to change someone after marriage is never a part of love, but a sign of your own insecurity. You will never be happy in the relationship and will reap the backlash of resentment and hostility. Also, you will never have a real love, only a two-legged pet, until it expires and you get another.
Infidelity is a heartless and cruel act that begins with merely a thought . A relationship is not the place to play with the dangerous love-bug or another person’s affections. Resolve to remove yourself from the relationship or give your partner the opportunity to make that choice for themselves. It is yet another sign of insecurity that we must test a love that we are unsure of or cannot even obtain in ourselves. At least own up to your weak-mindedness and don’t be surprised by any of the natural or logical consequences that may result from your actions and lack of foresight. It truly is unacceptable behaviour in a relationship and is a sign you need to get out.
Lying to yourself when a marriage is not working will cause torment in deluding yourself that it is, because deep down you hold the truth and it will eat at your nervous system and show itself through addiction or disease.
Mid-life crises are great excuses for people who have no mind of their own and we all go through many hormonal and emotional extremes in our lives. Much too often the old mental state of an affair sets in and takes the entire family for a hellish roller coaster ride through tunnels of emotional turmoil. It is a sign that they have been ignoring the loves in their life for far too long.
Remember:
Marriage was made for people…people were not made for marriage
Gushy Yucky – the toxic relationship
Does this sound like you or someone you know? Perhaps secretly you feel this way, but aren’t telling anyone – maybe a nagging uneasiness deep down inside.
If so, I urge you to stop ignoring it – it’s a sign from inside that your power has been stolen. It might be from your past or someone/thing is stealing it now.
This audio is one side of a conversation that was recorded for the sole purpose of helping this woman stand by her own decision to leave a toxic relationship. The idea was to use this audio recorded in her own words and true emotions to remind her in times of ‘gushy yucky’ that she’d had enough and made a choice to stand strong in her decision to separate from her husband.
The scene is of her in a hospital bed for the fourth time after being diagnosed with a Stage 4 aggressive cancer that she had only found out about two months prior.
Text
I’ve had enough. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to start. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to dump that all on you without warning, but it’s too hard to do. I can’t get better. Like I’m getting better, everybody’s going ‘Oh my God, you look fabulous, what are you doing in here? Well…I came in at 70 over 39 (bp).
He does exactly what…what’s the other one? It’s called co-dependent. That’s just it…it’s just too hard and that’s exactly what it is, isn’t it? Oh yeah, I’m way at my limit. I can’t do this, but then he’s…what is ‘gushy yucky’. I can’t let him…I can’t gush, ’cause you know how he can do that. It’s just he does the right thing and everything’s OK for a while. And then all of a sudden it’s not. And who’s fault is it? Mine, because I’m going back, I thought everything’d be OK. It’s like I’m condoning it and I can’t. So I don’t know where to start…I just want him gone.
Sadly, she never got a chance to use it, as she died only two months later with her husband still whining and complaining and blaming her.
It was very hard for me to edit this audio, but I truly don’t want this or worse to happen to other women and I know she wanted to share the same message with the world.