Traubuse – traumatic events & abuse often affect us the same way
There is a dire need to bring awareness and healing to abused/traumatized/victimized persons whose suppressed trauma is a latent energy that leaks a deadly toxin. We can help them neutralize this energy & allow it to be released as positive expression & peace.
- Abuse is a learned thing – we can and should unlearn it.
- Trauma may come from shock, war, grief, illness, injury and more – we can and should overcome it. We can then teach others to do the same – even if only by example.
Major life-changing injuries caused by accidents, war, grief, illness and witnessing violence can cause a person to ‘shut down’ emotionally for a short time while they process and heal or it can last indefinitely until they find the right tools to help. It is similar to abuse in that the damage is psychological and treatment is the same, but different in that it is not someone harming them directly. It also could be linked to child abuse that can subconsciously cause of self-destructive lifestyles and actions.
Free advice vs Experiential advice
- Free advice is readily available from well-intentioned folks everywhere – by sharing experiences or based on judgement from an observer’s point of view. And, although many people do overcome ‘very bad’ situations in these ways, they usually only end up in ‘slightly bad’ situations. They never truly find freedom or heal and resign themselves to accept that ‘slightly bad’ is the best they can do.
- This is why experiential advice is hard to find: abuse is an elusive charge of energy that is difficult to grab hold of on an intellectual level. It takes a lot of study, practice, and skill to be able to ‘see’ the conflict within using a higher level of focus and sensing. Plus, abuse is still largely considered taboo and best kept as society’s dirty little secret.
Worse yet, victims of abuse are running and ruining our societies from positions of power.
Rewards of custom advice
With proper guidance on a personal level we can allow ourselves to go beyond the fear and recognize our pain as a sign from within that we need to love ourselves more. We can then let loose that pain energy into the cosmos and the inherent love we were born with can begin the process of releasing restorative chemicals into our system to heal us. The result is pure joy. Indescribable to those who have never known it, but once you’ve found that sense of joy you’ll know that’s where you belong. It doesn’t come from anyone or anything outside of you – it comes from within. And, with practice you can call upon your joy at any time to help you with other things that come up throughout your life – it only grows stronger with use.
Signs & Triggers – you can’t always see them
To know about a person’s open wound on the outside is obvious.
- To treat it we apply a bandage and some TLC
To know about a person’s open wound on the inside may come from observing a person’s demeanour which requires more study or by simply being told about it.
- To treat it we need to apply compassion and insight along with natural supplements for mental calmness
The future of child abuse is that some people carry a subtle awareness that they are damaged property and will avoid committing to relationships and some will bury their abuse so deep that everyone is surprised when a loving relationship brings it to the surface. The degrees of intensity at which these sensations surface will vary greatly from one individual to another.
As well, certain prescription drugs, illness, alcohol and a bad hangover can intensify the panic experience because they weaken our defenses even more so than at other times.
What kind of trigger?
Be particularly warned about unknown ‘triggers’ when it comes to any form of sexual abuse. A trigger may be as subtle as directing rude comment at the cable guy who is glaring at your bosom while he’s explaining the programming. Yuckers! Or it may have compounded into a full-force panic or terror attack as if there are bombs going off around you.
‘Creeping Uncle’ example
In the case of a creeping uncle from childhood, you may find some day that another creepy character will come along at a time when you thought you’d dealt with those feelings, because you had admitted it happened and can recall the memory. But, lo and behold, a part of you hadn’t. It could be a creepy neighbour or landlord that makes a lewd comment to you at a moment you were feeling low from an illness.
All of sudden something deep inside comes gushing up like an oil well of black darkness and your mind tries to escape the physical terror that had traumatized you so early on in life. You may find your physical body releasing the toxicity in such a way that your mind has a hard time controlling the sickening sensations on a logical level. It may feel like you are being attacked by a sexual predator and your only thought is to run into the street naked and screaming to escape, as your mind frantically searches for help and fights the strong physical urges.
What a truly terrifying experience…10 times worse than a panic attack, but if you’ve had this type of terror attack, you’ve experienced panic attacks, too.
Managing panic & terror attacks
It’s important to know what to do when these kind of attacks occur and here are some things to prepare for.
- Have someone you trust to talk to or call that can guide your focus to get yourself grounded.
- Get active/distracted/grounded: get busy, change your shoes, stomp on the floor, go for a very long walk and think only of doing that – focus only on the activity.
- A doctor may prescribe medication that lowers high blood pressure, but there are much safer and more effective natural supplements to combat anxiety at your local health food store: 5-HTP; L-tryptophan; valerian root; passion flower; blended formulas.
- Estrogen or a menopausal supplement can also reduce frequency and severity.
Thankfully, there is a part of us that is stronger than all of that and we can regain control of our faculties if we have learned how to love ourselves.
Controlling a frenzied state
Panic and/or terror attacks are a reaction to an immediate situation that appears threatening or a fearful memory that’s crept into your awareness. First comes the fear, then your body starts over-producing adrenaline and the adrenaline feeds the fear and they build on each other to the point you feel you are being attacked by your own body.
It’s also important to know what to think about right away to offset this powerful hormonal outburst:
- Remind yourself that no one is hurting you at this immediate now moment.
- Recognize the occurrence as energy being released from your cells where it had been stored since the incident.
- Use the I-Peace mantra at the very start of a panic attack to retrain your body to neutralize the feeling rather than intensify it. Read more on the I-Peace mantra here.
Once you talk yourself through it and stop shaking, you will feel safer than you’ve ever felt before and even more in control of your life than ever before.
Abuse – putting a stop to the insanity
There is no glory in suffering…only in overcoming.
- Noun: wrong or improper use; misuse; harshly or coarsely insulting language; bad or improper treatment; maltreatment.
- Verb: to use wrongly or improperly; misuse; to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way; to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about; revile; malign.
- Noun: cruelty; exploitation; ill-treatment; insult; manipulation; mistreatment; misuse; neglect; violence.
- Verb:batter; exploit; harm; hurt; ill-treat; injure; insult; mistreat; molest; swear.
Origins of abuse
Abuse comes from everywhere and can be as slight as a subtle sexual innuendo from a neighbour as an adult or as harsh as being punished by kneeling in a box of gravel for an hour as a child – it all factors in to the abuse of your personal power.
Overcoming abuse leads to peace
In order to allow peace in our hearts, families, societies and worlds, we need to face and regain our power from the pain caused by the lfe-threatening abuse that resides there now.
The thing is: all the while we let the abuse happen without standing up for ourselves, the stronger the repressed energy gets and the harder it is to release it safely.
What can we do?
- We can share knowledge and insight on the suppression, mistreatment, cruelty, neglect, exploitation and degradation of people, otherwise known as Psst! Abuse. Shhh!
- Also, we can take the stigma of abuse and see it for what it really is: an oppressed, suppressed, repressed mighty universal power that has been stolen.
- We can then remove the perceived labels of shame and weakness altogether, because when you look closer, it takes a lot of strength to carry such compressed energy in the cells of our bodies, as well as our psyche – similar to trauma.
Strong support – we’ve got your back
As deniable as we would like it to be, there may be times when you need a stronger support system that is prepared for any dangerous domestic situation where you have to get out fast.
These organizations are also partners in preventing abuse, so you may want to share your wisdom in helping others through them.
- Nanaimo Family Life Association
- Non-profit affordable counselling organization where no one is turned away for inability to pay
- Get their Orientation Package & Adult In-take Form here: Counselling Program
- Assaulted Women’s Helpline
- A 24-hour telephone and TTY crisis line for women in the province of Ontario
- Canadian Women’s Foundation
- As a resource for community-based services that support survivors of sexual assault, relationship violence, child abuse and criminal harassment, CWF raises money to fund, research and share the best approaches to:
- It Starts With You
- Provides reliable and up-to-date information for abused women, their family, friends, and colleagues in Canada.
- SOS Safety Magazine
- Offer preventative medicine for victims of bullying, addiction, suicide, peer pressure, teen violence, and mental health in Canada
- Vancouver Rape Relief & Women’s Shelter
- Operates a 24-hour rape crisis centre and provides services for victims of rape.
- Operates a shelter for women and children trying to prevent or escape male violence. All services are free and confidential.
- Works to be an educational force for progressive changes in attitudes, laws, and institutional procedures, and to work for the prevention of male violence against women.
- Works with other social services groups, institutions and community groups towards the prevention of male violence against women. Develops and builds relationships and alliances with other rape crisis centres, transition houses and women’s groups to further women’s equality.
- Operates as a feminist collective, providing opportunities for women to participate in ending male violence against women.
- Works towards and garners support from communities and men in ending male violence against women.
- Law and abused women.
- White Ribbon Canada
- The largest effort in the world of men working to end violence against women.
- California Coalition Against Sexual Assault
- A national online project dedicated to the primary prevention of sexual assault and domestic violence.
- California Partnership to End Domestic Violence
- A catalyst and advocate to ensure safety and justice for victims and survivors of domestic violence and their children.
- Men Can Stop Rape
- Mission: To mobilize men to use their strength for creating cultures free from violence, especially men’s violence against women.
- Vision: To institutionalize primary prevention of men’s violence against women through sustained initiatives that generate positive, measurable outcomes in populations throughout the world.